The Power of Journaling

One of the earliest of the Desert Fathers was Antony (4th century).  Bishop Athanasius reported Antony's thoughts on what we today call journaling:  "Let each of us note and record our actions and the stirrings of our souls as though we were going to give an account to each other.  And you can be sure that, being particularly ashamed to have them made known, we would stop sinning and even meditating on something evil.  For who wants to be seen sinning?  Or who, after sinning, would not prefer to lie, wanting it to remain unknown?  So then, just as we would not practice fornication if we were observing each other directly, so also we will doubtless keep ourselves from impure thoughts, ashamed to have them known, if we record our thoughts as if reporting them to each other.  let this replace the eyes of our fellow ascetics, so that, blushing as much to write as to be seen, we might never be absorbed by evil things."

Simply put, if we are honest in our practice of keeping a journal, and honestly write what we do and think, It becomes a form of confession to another, which has the goal of not just admitting wrong, but in changing behavior and thinking.  If this is to work, we must be honest and not just share our struggles, but to see this as part of the battle ground to be transformed into the image of God in heart, mind, body and soul. 

Back At It....Again

It has been quite a year:

• My oldest daughter Alicia got married last June to a wonderful young man.
• Lauren recovered from knee surgery to have another great volleyball season at Olivet
• Sue and I celebrated our 25th anniversary
• I turned 50 in February
• I had surgery on my lung in January and am on the good side of recovery.

The church has been wonderful (mostly) with many baptisms and great ministry happening with new Connect Groups, Celebrate Recovery, Worship changes and working with a great staff.

And my faith, well, it has been interesting. I have had highs and lows, but most of all I realized that in the midst of my physical struggles, my faith built over 50 years brought me through without the need for miracles or visions. What Jesus did on the cross and through his resurrection was enough. The following lyrics explained my experience:
"Life could take, take every dream away, you'd still be my risen one, the place where my hope comes from."

And now I live in this hope as I work toward being who God wants me to be and what he wants me to be. I am restarting the blog today. No one may read this, but it feels good to express myself again.

Restart

It's time to get back to bloggin on a regular basis. I am begining towork through a prayer that I have used before. On Sunday, May 2, I will use this prayer throughout the month. I will also comment as I read throuigh Francis Chan's book, Forgottern God and Craig Groeshel's book, The Christian Atheist. These books could make interesting conversation. See you Sunday!

Day 28

Let bitterness die! Last November I went through this study on bitterness and I realized that I was holding some bitterness in my heart even though I had forgiven a person. I really had forgiven! But i was holding something back and I think I was expecting something in return. That bitterness turned to anger and God really dealt with me to complete the forgiveness that I had begun, but never finished. So it is finished. I let bitterness die.

Day 27

I am behind. The guilt wants to grab me. Time has slipped away into the abyss of busyness. But I take captive every thought and know that even if I got behind on this study, finishing on time is not the goal. The goal is spending time with God each and every day, and throughout the day.

The mouth is such an interesting thing. James spends time describing how much it can control our lives. Maybe we need to spend less time talking, and more time listening. I know that is true in our relationship with God. It should help in our truth-telling, fulfilling promises, and relationships.

An aside: It has been an interesting several days (almost a week). It has been one of those periods of time where I felt I met people needs, supported another ministry, did good ministry to some in the church going through tough times and to some in the community (food give away and food pantry).

I am back in the office today and all I see is issues: administrative and building issues (cleaning nd details), at least one person I missed ministering to because I was gone and a host of other kinds of things. I am feeling that no matter how much I do, it is never enough. What do I do with these thoughts? They cannot be from God. I guess my battle today is to "take captive every thought."